Balancing life -who are you kidding?
Everyday I get asked “How do you do it all, how do you get everything done?” How do you balance your life? Want to know my secret? OK here goes.
I have two children, Mr 6 and Miss 15. I have a husband and we’ve been married 18 years. I care for my mother who lives with us and has Alzheimer’s. I am a child hood behaviour consultant, parent counsellor and teenage mentor, run my own business, I study, in the midst of writing a book, plus the usual motherhood stuff each day brings. I am confident in presuming you too have a lot on your plate, all mothers do.
Balancing life – My Secret
See this photo, this woman is balancing, looks hard doesn’t it? Well balancing is hard. So here is my secret on how I do it all, quite simply I don’t. I do what I can each day. I stopped trying Balancing life because it actually stressed me out trying to find a balance.
Some days work can consume me, other days I’m concerned about my mother and completing assignments. At times, I’m obsessed that I don’t have enough time for writing ( and there is so much I want to write about ) and I haven’t got anything in for dinner. I am a serial to do list writer, four notebooks, plus to do’s on my phone and ideas on scraps of paper. I even write a sub to do list out of my main to do list and have not one but two giant white boards.
Balancing life – No thanks, I’d rather have passion
My favourite word is passion and I do as much as I can with passion. My family are my passion and I try my hardest to show them this. It may not be able to spend heaps of time with them everyday, but I make sure the time I spend with them is fun and I try and ignore the voices in my head telling me I still have things on my list to do. We will all, always have things to do.
Child behaviour is my other passion and assisting the amazing families I work with. I’m pretty much on call 24/7. I take on emergency cases and phone consults on a daily basis. At times it means resheduling a well planned day to fit in a family in distress.
No matter what others say about me I am a mother just plodding along, many of you have a lot more to juggle and deal with. I get sad, I get angry, I cry and have a sarcastic sense of humour and I’m a little partial to a glass of red, G&T and bubbles.
Balancing life - A condition in which different elements are equal
If you are stressed about finding the balance in your life, then stop. If you think about it; balance means you would be at a standstill , picture a seesaw or some scales with equal weights on each end- it would be still.
Balance is unachievable because we are not dealing with inanimate factors in our lives. Life is what you are doing now. It is about juggling and changing and adapting to whatever the day brings. You can prioritise what you want to work on. Whether it be yourself, your kids, your marriage, your laundry, your business, do a little on each one or focus on just one. It’s up to you.
I am fortunate that in studying and researching behaviour I can rationalise a fair bit of my own emotions and step outside my sadness, anger, and crying. Although I still have days, where my rationale flies out the window and I go with the crazy flow inside my head. Spending most of the day telling it to “Shut up!”
Other days I try change my outlook by ignoring the to do list and going off to spend time with my children- they are very grounding, or spending a few minutes in he bathroom (it’s my second office), reading some blogs, tweeting or on facebook, there is normally someone around willing to send a virtual hug, or having a crappy day too.
My thoughts on Balancing life
It’s simple, if trying to get balance is hard, then don’t do it. I know there are heaps and heaps of experts and manuals and guides that all talk about balance, but is it possibly just talk? I don’t think that anyone of us can follow the balancing life script perfectly because all our lives, needs and issues are different.
What are you taking away from my ramblings, hopefully that I muddle through in my own way and I try not to beat myself up trying to find a balance or when things don’t go to plan or get done. I’ve stopped feeling guilty (most of the time) when I feel overwhelmed and need to have a break.
I do what you can, at the end of the day I am happy when I have put my son to bed and spent time reading with him and I’ve had a chat with my daughter and we have laughed together about our day. Spent time with my mum singing a Spanish song and giving her the thumbs up (it makes her giggle) and connected with my hubby with a good night kiss.
These are my priorities that I endeavour to do each day. These are the things that keep me ‘balanced’ and real inside. Not having the stress of balancing life is a weight I got rid off and feel much better for.
I’ll carry on with my lists but I don’t try to balance them, as it does make me feel better having it down on paper and I know that slowly but surely I start to tick things off, now my long term to do list- well that’s another blog altogether.